Tickled Pink Obiter Dictums
I wanted to capture some of my favorite obiter dictums, aka passing comments, that I have experienced and meant something to me. It’s part vanity, part documentarian. But overall, it helps me enjoy the people and the world around me.
Drew: an interlude man
I was down in the dumps a little hanging out with friends when Drew was curious why I wasn’t my usual self. I started telling him about how I had been interested in this girl, and I thought it was going somewhere but then fell off and now she’s back with her ex. Drew (and this was completely in stride) responded with “yeah but you’re the other guy. He has to deal with the fact that you slipped in there when he was lacking. You don’t even know his name, but I bet he knows yours now.”
I know it’s not the most impactful or even the most positive thing to say, I mean he basically is saying I’m second place, but the way he said it and, in that moment, it mattered a lot. Drew got me to look at all this from the perspective of “Hey, I had this great connection, and now the other guy is going to always have to wonder.” It didn’t get me completely out of my funk but from then on, the cloud over my head never felt too heavy.
Rohan: aquatic métier man
I had convinced Rohan to come watch a water polo match since he had never experienced one before. I was pretty familiar with one of the teams so I ended up sitting on the bench and coaching some of the players who were subbing out. At one moment, I wanted to explain positioning but didn’t have my whiteboard, so I ran over to my bag, grabbed it, and ran back to draw what I meant.
As we were leaving he mentioned “I feel like I finally saw you in your natural element.” This was in relation to how I was showing the passion and drive I have with helping others get better, especially in water polo. This comment reminds me of how doing actions for others invigorates me and gives me joy. It doesn’t take much for me to have the enjoyment for life start to boil over, and this was one way I was able to share it, with the players and my friend as well.
Ryan: the oblivial barb
I was playing air hockey with Ryan when someone, Person B, came up and started talking to him. Person B was being very friendly and saying “Hey Ryan! How are you?”. Meanwhile, Ryan had no memory of this person and responded, “Who are you?” They retorted, “Don’t you remember from that training earlier in the year?” This back-and-forth discourse continued, one claiming to have some existing relationship and the other not recollecting anything. I wanted to continue playing so (I don’t remember actually saying this but apparently, I did) I piped up with the quip, “Oh, that’s because Ryan only remembers pretty girls.” This was (and still is) hilarious to Ryan and made person B walk away without any retort.
I had no recollection of this instance until discussing with Ryan months later. I agree in thinking it’s a hilarious burn, though definitely a personal attack and not what I should’ve done. But this did make me smile that I could be quick witted with a perfect comeback.
Kevin: an enthusiastic helping hand
I was going through work and discussing jobs with Kevin when he made the comment, “you know why the mechanics like you? You aren’t afraid to jump in and give a hand. you are always wanting to help”. It made me smile and still brings joy to me when reflecting on it. It’s one thing to be tolerated but to actually be enjoyed is a whole lot more. I have put in the time and effort to go for things, to have a yes mentality and we’ll make corrections along the way. This was a perfect confirmation that some of my actions are positively impacting others.